Thursday, June 28, 2012
The saying, “A body at rest tends to stay at rest - a body in motion tends to stay in motion.” is a law of physics. It’s been rattling around in my mind today.
Energy - the capacity for work or vigorous activity; the ability of a physical system to do work. Actually, more like the oozing of energy from a physical system (mine specifically) has been irritating me today, too.
It’s been a very busy, joyful, yet stressful few weeks. I completed my much awaited final (I hope) in this series of chemotherapy treatments in late May. Then the wait for the CA-125 results – another 3 weeks. During this time, our home of 19 years was supposed to close. We had had it on the market for almost a year and had already moved to our beach home. Of course, we still had the responsibility of caring for the house and its 2 ½ acres and outbuildings, both physically and financially, and worrying about it mentally – which always affects me physically. Then there was the huge expense of maintaining two homes – double everything!
We were also making arrangements for our son and his family to visit for a week – the same week the house was to close. It would be the first time we had entertained them and our two little grandsons in the new home. Our daughter and our granddaughter would also be coming for a few days. It was all very exciting and we were very much looking forward to it – but it still required an outlay of energy that I wasn’t too sure I had that close to a 6th chemo treatment.
Finally the day came for the house to close – 2 days before our son was arriving. Two hours from the closing time, we were told that the buyer’s mortgage company had a SMALL issue that might postpone the closing for about 6 weeks! I could feel the stress molecules gathering up my positive energies and tossing them out through the top of my head. Fortunately, cooler heads than mine prevailed and the house did close a few days later - a few hours after my son’s plane landed! That’s cutting things a little too close for me. My CA-125 test had not come back as I had wished – down but not quite enough. So, another was scheduled in a few weeks. My stress level and negative energy was about Warp 5 – for you Trekkies.
We had a great time with all the kids. Laughter and positive energy was overflowing in our home. Joining the little ones in a dance party, or helping them color shells they had collected, or crashing in and out of the waves, the nasty old negative energy didn't have a chance to keep my “body at rest.” A “body in motion” was definitely more fun.
After they left, tropical storm Debby appeared out of nowhere and with it I could feel the negative energies begin to seep in. The little “disturbance” that was supposed to head to Louisiana or Texas was suddenly only miles north of us, crossing the Florida peninsula. We began putting toys away and returning borrowed booster seats. I found I had absolutely no energy at all. I kept getting out of breath and spent a lot of time watching the rain completely mask the ocean. My body stayed at rest until I began to worry if there wasn’t more going on in there than just being tired.
Today the sun came out, and with it glimpses of my “forward motion” too. We went for an early walk. The first thing I always do is “connect” with the ocean’s forces. I have a great respect for the ocean’s power and a great love of its life-giving force. I always walk directly into the water and just thank God for it and my life. Well, we got our bodies out of “rest” mode and into “motion” – and I could feel my positive energy and strength returning. It never ceases to amaze me how stress and tension – even over happy things – can freeze your mobility and drain your energies.
I have a very dear friend who is a Healing Touch therapist. I met her purely by accident in the elevator one day and she offered to give me a healing treatment. My first thought was, “Do I look that bad that a stranger is offering to heal me?” I think she’s also a psychic. I definitely believe in certain forms of alternative medicine and in keeping the energy centers in our bodies open and functioning. She helps me do that.
I feel my body is now in motion, my energy is slowly being restored, and my life forces are flowing freely. Hopefully this will translate into a good CA125 next week. It certainly can’t hurt! And, if it doesn’t – well, I’ll just keep moving and try again!
SURVIVAL TIPS: We all have someone or something in our lives that drains our energy. Someone you consider “high maintenance” or a job or situation that just drains you instead of refueling your energy. Free yourself of these people – try to eliminate or at least change the situation. Surround yourself with positive people and influences. You’re worth it and your body needs it!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
I’ve spent most of the day recouping from chemo treatment #6 last week. This one is taking a little longer to release its grip on me, but that’s not unusual. Chemo is cumulative as well as deadly, unpredictable, and a general pain in the tush. But each day gets better and living is definitely worth the effort.
I’ve been rehashing some unexpected things that have come up in my life recently. It’s funny how you can go along day after day and often not notice the little bumps that weren’t there the day before – the very slight tilt to the day that often has far reaching ripples. This beachside condo living is a new lifestyle for us –and the upcoming sale of our home of 19 years has probably brought on this thought process. It’s made me very aware of my surroundings and the wonderful, if slight, changes that can easily go unnoticed.
Sometimes it’s nothing more than an unusual assortment of shells on the beach. The seasons and the tides and the phases of the moon all play a part in the life forms present on our beach on any given day. The other day, we found lots of sand dollars – mostly in pieces – but they had been absent for months. We did find one that was about ¾ whole. My daughter tells me that amounts to about 75 cents worth (of a sand dollar). Have I mentioned our family’s strange sense of humor? If you’ve read my posts before, I’m sure that was not an “unexpected find” for you!
The shells of razor clams were also abundant, and I haven’t seen them in ages. They’re oddly similar to VERY long fingernails, often with subtle shadings that look a lot like nail art. They’re not very popular with shell collectors, but I find them strangely beautiful. I know – weird!
The thing we most enjoyed that day was the return of the lettered olives. They are beautiful cylindrical gastropods with a glossy shell and a small pointed spire on the top. Later in the season, we find the shells washed up on the sand, empty, but magnificent with a highly polished finish. They have most likely succumbed to a hungry Willet or Turnstone. Right now, though, they are everywhere, burrowing through the sand, making deep gouges at the shoreline with their large foot (right, a foot!) scavenging for coquina clams in the surf zone. I’ve watched a few amateur shellers pick up the live creatures and add them to their bag of souvenirs. It’s easy to do – when you touch them, their body mantle and large foot retract deep into their thick protective, gorgeous shell. Little do they know that they are very much alive – at least at that point – and will die a very smelly death in their carryon luggage.
We have a friend whose mother doesn’t understand the appeal of the ocean. She feels that it’s boring and monotonous. We couldn’t be of a more opposing opinion. It’s a living, evolving, ever-changing – and to me, healing – environment. Every day brings something new to marvel at – something life-affirming and renewing. There’s a saying that goes “Some people find more in a walk on the beach than others find on a trip around the world.” That’s definitely us! This new beach lifestyle has truly become one of our most Unexpected Finds!
SURVIVAL TIPS – Life is so precious – try to pay attention to the slight shifts and sways in your days. With or without cancer, life goes by too quickly. Look around you and find the unexpected!