I
know I have been an advocate for keeping a journal – and I still am. It has proved useful over and over during
these past 5 years. Looking back,
though, I find that I usually refer to it after a remission and recurrence of
the disease to refresh my memory of the chemo effects to come and how best to
deal with them. This new “chronic”
status has thrown me. Because I’m
dealing with the same drug and the same side effects every 3 weeks, you would
think this would make life easier. NOT! This week was a perfect example.
Now
normally I know that at some point within the first 6-10 days after treatment,
the drug will want to exit my body. At
least that’s what I call it. I’m sure
it’s just a phenomenon caused by diet, medication side effects, diet, stress, exercise,
and diet. But I like to think the drug
just decides it’s time to leave. When
this happens, I usually have a significant amount of pain, sometimes nausea,
and eventually it leaves the body. It
seems to enjoy doing this between the hours of 10PM and 3AM. This is all well and good – I have learned
that a GasX here and there helps the progression along. I am also adamant about not taking an
Immodium during the process (I want this junk OUT of me) – unless, of course,
the exiting process extends into the next 24 hour period. Just bear with me – I’m trying to be as delicate
and sensitive as possible.
For
some bizarre reason, when I begin to feel good around day 5 or 6, I forget that
the drug is still there – and it MUST leave, no matter how great I feel that
day! It will happen! (I think I’m going to paste that on my
refrigerator on the day I have chemo!) “WAIT
FOR IT!”
Okay,
so last week we returned from a fantastic trip to NY to see our Son and his
family, including two of the cutest and smartest little boys you could ever
wish for – no really they are! It was
such fun. When we landed we couldn’t
find our car and the credit card that replenishes my E-Pass had expired so they
wouldn’t let us out of the parking garage- but we finally made it home. Next day, 8:15AM – chemo! Everything went well and by Monday I felt
fantastic. WOW, this was great. We went for my labs, did some shopping, went
for a long walk on the beach, and I began craving egg rolls and fried
rice. Actually, it was a toss-up between
that and a steak quesadilla and black beans and rice. We opted for the Chinese takeout. It was great and my husband now thinks I’m
pregnant with cravings.
The
next evening I gave him the choice of dinner – he wanted Thai. I cooked Shrimp and noodles in peanut
sauce. Terrific! The next night, still feeling fine, I decided
to continue on our international tour and make Sausage and Peppers. Again great – until about 9PM when the drug
decided it had had too much around-the-world cuisine. The pain was so severe that I began to
believe I really was pregnant and about to give birth to a T-REX. It actually took me 2 hours to remember that
GasX helps in these circumstances. What
was wrong with me??? It was only 3 weeks ago that I went through the same thing
– only not the international version.
By
2AM I realized a few things – I was so eternally grateful for my recliner chair
and my iPad, both of which had kept me comfortable and distracted during the
past 5 hours. I also realized what a
putz I had been. I knew it was coming,
but subconsciously chose to ignore it and “live in the moment.”
Well,
my “moment” has passed and so has the drug.
For the next few days, yogurt is my food of choice in the AM and a basic
meat/potato/vegetable dinner at night. I
believe I’m on my way to twelve good/great days ahead – before we start all
over again. My husband continues to tell
everyone we meet that I’m pregnant – and, yes, I’m still craving that steak
quesadilla with black beans and rice from Clancy’s Cantina in New Smyrna
Beach! Maybe over the weekend! TYG4E
We are our own worst enemies, aren't we? I would do the same thing.
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