Love May Be Lovlier the 2nd Time Around – But 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th – CANCER STILL SUCKS!!!

CANCER  is a vile, despicable, contemptible, gutless, cowardly excuse for a disease.  It can travel faster than a speeding bullet; it’s deadlier than a C-5 tornado, and as unexpected as an earthquake.  It buries itself under cover of healthy tissue in innocent, unsuspecting bodies only to emerge violent and aggressive with vengeful delight. It thrives on devastation and destruction.  It feeds on anguish and pain.  If it had a mind, it would be perverted, twisted and demented.  If it had a face, it would be uglier and more gruesome than the bloodiest Halloween mask.  But this monster does have a face, doesn’t it?  It has millions of faces – mine is only one of them.  It strikes when you least expect it – it catches you off guard, midstream, mid-life, mid-hopes and dreams. Wow, I guess I needed to vent!  

My name is Kathleen and I’m a three-time CANCER survivor

and a current CANCER patient!

I’ll be turning 67 in a few weeks. Not a bad age, really.  I’ve retired; I collect Social Security; I get a lot of senior citizens’ discounts (my husband qualifies for the ones I don’t get!);  I don’t think I look OLD – most of the time.  I have time to crochet – which I love – and read – which I also love but don’t do enough of.  Corny as it sounds, I’m married to my very best friend – 38 years today!  Years ago, if someone had asked us who our best friends were, I think we would both have named other people.  He probably would have said Ron or one of his fireman buddies.  I might have said Fran or Eileen or Janet or Arlene.  Best Friends, though, don’t just appear.  A relationship that close takes work, and patience, and love.  It has to be nurtured.  Good times must be celebrated, and bad times shared – secrets kept and hurts forgiven.  Boy that sounds an awful lot like marriage.  I guess we’ve always been best friends.  He’s also now my #1 Guardian Angel! 

I have two wonderful children, a daughter and a son.  They were the magnificent outcome of a not so magnificent first marriage.  It’s funny how life does that to us.  When I look closely at some of my “less than brilliant” life choices, I see that occasionally I have been left  with something wonderful - in this case, two intelligent, considerate, gentle and truly nice people – my children.  They’re on my list of great friends, too – right up there with the best one.  Ironically, also on that list, is their father – my ex-husband.  He’s also very high on my husband’s list of friends.  We do lead a strange life, but a good one! 

My BOSS (the Ultimate one) has also blessed me with the three cutest, brightest, most truly amazing grandchildren on this earth.  No, honestly, mine REALLY are!  I believe that we all learn something from everyone we come in contact with – good or bad – but we do learn.  These little ones have taught me more than all the books and years combined. Humility, prudence, restraint, humor, courage, faith, hope, and more love than I thought possible – taught by the infant who trusts me enough to fall asleep in my arms, or the future karate champion who’s exhausted and just a little frightened, but refuses to give up.

I’ve been blessed with so much in my life – I’ve also been “blessed” with CANCER, now for the fourth time.  But I will survive this assault as well.  This recent recurrence has me thinking a lot about this slimy excuse for a disease – even more so about my reaction to it over the years.  It changes you and surprises you in ways you just don’t see coming. 

It’s not my intention to make this blog about how CANCER can make you a better person or how wonderful things can come out of the devastation.  I have personal proof that both do happen, but that’s not what I need to get out of my system.  I like to think I have learned a few things along the way that may benefit some of you or someone you love.  I like to think I’ve acquired some humor about it and even a survival tip or two that may be of use to someone else.  I hope you’ll join me on my journey through Remission, Recurrence, and Resilience!  

SURVIVAL  TIPS:  ASAP - Always Say A Prayer.  When things seem overwhelming, I always pray to my BIG  BOSS  - the One with ALL the answers!